Wonderings in the Night

I sit overlooking the city. I feel like I am a bird for I have a view that a bird would have. I can't help, but wonder why. I wrote a song once called, "Sometimes I wonder." Well I wonder alot, maybe too much. These are my wonderings late into the night as I overlook the city.

I wonder why I don't have my own family.

I wonder will I only ever take care of other's children and never my own.

I wonder why only men who seem to not believe in God want to believe in me.

I wonder how many other single women are out there wondering the same things I am.

I wonder how long I can live like this, because often I think it would be best if I didn't.

I wonder how long do I have to humble myself and die to my desires.

I wonder if the men I love will ever love God and have a Holy Fire.

I wonder why am I alive.

The rest I seek in holding your hand can never be, because it will never be rest. The rest I seek is SHALOM and only He can give it. How I wish you believed in His Shalom. Forever I will cry into the night longing for what can not be, because forever you love and love does not die. Try as I might I can not escape His Love, because I am a slave. And yet it is what I have chosen-to be a slave to righteousness.